my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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