Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.