On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us