You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe