Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me