i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.