i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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