I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
