Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just found a bag of teeth...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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