giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
