I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
