He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think your dad took our porno
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
