WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
