new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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