white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
