i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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