hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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