On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
false alarm, still single
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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