this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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