one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize