Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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