about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
