butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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