nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How external is "for external use only"?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He? As in you personified your dick?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize