Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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