eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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