The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
