Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
