Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
