Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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