but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
