So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
