He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
