Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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