I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
