I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
