I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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