Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize