you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
