So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize