Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
