i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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