Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
