We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.