I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize