Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
