Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
