my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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