dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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