Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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