I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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