you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
