The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
