Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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