apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
