brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
