Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
