Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
