i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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