My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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