just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
