Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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