I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
