before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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