hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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