i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
