i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
